posted on October 06, 2004 @ 10:01 am
sometimes i can really appreciate dreams. ocassionally i'll have a dream completely without sound. it doesn't happen all that often, though i've noticed when i wake up i feel less tired. once i had one where owen was lying on the futon and i was lying on top of him. we were talking, and i knew what we were talking about, but there was no sound whatsoever.
then a couple weeks ago i had one where nana and papaw had a baby. i had sarah, who was younger, around six or seven, an anonymous boy around five, and nana and papaw's baby boy, who by this point was two. i was sitting in a lawn chair outside holding the baby, and sarah and the other boy were playing and talking to me. the background looked a lot like vancouver, the water we drove over when we were going to whistler. i was listening to "island in the sun" and watching as we passed a small island with golden trees, surrounded by golden water, the setting sun just beyond it. when we were off the bridge i went back to drawing the cover of my newly-purchased frank black cd.
in my dream, it looked like we were sitting on the bridge, only now there was a lawn there, and a house, and no weezer, just silence. i held my baby uncle and smiled as i watched the other children play, and when i woke up i felt really nice.
sometimes, however, dreams can downright suck. i've heard they can be manifestations of your fears, and last night's seemed like one of those. most likely it was brought on by my talking to owen of how i'm the most jealous person on earth because i'm very territorial. he is my property, and there will be no trespassing. my dream was something to that effect, but what's terrible is that the girl was a specific person. she didn't look that same, but i knew it was her. when i woke up at 4:00 a.m., in addition to being stopped up and unable to breathe, i couldn't get back to sleep.
i got up and sat in the bathroom, trying to blow my nose and creating more awful scenarios wherein owen lost all interest in me. that's the worst part, not that i have to endure it whilst sleeping, but that for at least a day or two i'll be upset and unable to think about anything else.
this time, though, i'm trying to just ignore it. tell myself it's just evil at hand trying to make me upset, and that owen's not an asshole anyway.
to counter this, however, mr. kim (the "surly assclown" as i've previously called him), who works at the gas station by my house, held the door open for me as i entered (he was leaving), and then told me to have a good day after i paid. his english is terrible, but i just understood it. coming from him, that really made me feel better. i smiled and wished him one as well, and on my way to work listened to my "stuff" cd that frank put together, partially of my requests, partially his pickings. between sicko, code 7, the archers of loaf, and the cardigans, my day improved greatly between 7:10 a.m. and 7:25 a.m. [my drive to work, obviously].
so, in sum, fuck you evil at hand.
<3, chels
p.s. crush is very happy to be in a big vase. he swims a lot and has a good apetite. anthony wants to breed him with his female, so maybe soon i'll have a couple hundred more. (:
prev - next