posted on July 09, 2004 @ 4:34 pm
yesterday i got a phone call. the area code was longview, but i didn't answer. when i had a cell phone with the longview area code, i got wrong number calls all the time. for some reason it didn't dawn on me i'm long distance now. if i'd looked at the number i would have known who it was anyway. they left me a voicemail, though:
"chelsea oakes."
oh my god.
"do you know who this is?"
no fucking way.
"i bet you don't know who this is."
i spent every waking moment of my life from seventh to tenth grade with you.
"this is leah."
she went on in her adorable drawl about seeing a perfect circle, being 20 feet from james and twiggy, how it was "just like we used to talk about." her voice sounded excited and alive, not the tired, worn, drug-induced mumblings i remember when i finally told her i couldn't be around her anymore.
i didn't call back last night because i was overwhelmed a bit. lately i've been listening to a lot of old hole, even put up their massive window poster in my living room. she was with me when i bought that poster, and the cd i've been listening to, so it's been impossible not to think of her.
this afternoon as i was arranging to work a shift for layla, she called again and i let the voicemail answer. she sounded dejected, making sure i had caller ID so i could call her back. so i did.
"hello?"
"hey, it's chelsea."
"heeeyy!"
"what is up?"
"nothin'. i got your number from doug. :chuckles: i know he hates me, but i said, 'this is leah, chelsea's old friend. could you give me her phone number or address?' i was thinking you might be in town for the summer, but he said you're staying down there."
"yeah. anymore i can't stay there more than a week before i start losing my mind."
":laughs: yeah, i'm starting to lose mine."
i asked if i could call back in a few hours, when my minutes are free, when i'm alone in the garage, when there are fewer customers. she said just leave a message if she's not there, and she'd call back.
it's a little exciting once i get past the awkwardness. i get to tell her about my new apartment, speaking to my dad again (he took us both to arkansas for a few days; lots of pictures and great memories), owen. jesus, she'll flip about owen.
i hope she's doing okay and off of drugs. last i spoke to her, a couple of years ago, she was in rehab, mostly for coke.
hmm. yeah.
while sleeping i had two bad dreams about my new apartment. the first was while i was on the futon, having fallen asleep during flcl. i dreamt that in my mini-foyer there were daddy long-legs everywhere.
they were all over the ceiling, and at first i thought it was just one. i killed it with a flip-flop then returned to the futon. then i noticed a few more. i killed them, but even more appeared. the more i killed, the more showed up. eventually the entire ceiling was covered with them.
when i woke up a little before 9:00 a.m., i sat up hesitantly and looked around. tima sat in the recliner watching me. she was the only sign of life i saw, so i got up and fell asleep again in my bed.
this time i dreamt that water was leaking from upstairs throughout my whole apartment. it was dripping down every single inch of ceiling down my walls, and a panel of my bedroom wall (which is odd, because i don't have panelling) came loose. i stood there trying to push it back up since all this electrical stuff was being exposed to the water. i went to the office to complain, and did so in front of prospective tenants. the manager (who's the manager in real life, too) was freaking out cartoonishly, like in flcl, and took me to another one bedroom. in real life, there are no other one bedroom floorplans, but in the dream she showed me one that was 595 square feet (as opposed to my 750 square-foot one that was flooding). the design was interesting, it was cheaper, and i managed to get her to knock off even more of the price.
when i woke up this time, i lay in bed staring again at the ceiling. i ran my eyes along where it meets the walls and saw nothing.
i asked daniel when i got to work what he thought of it. of all people i know, i knew he'd be the one to tell me. i told him about the roly polies when i moved in, and how i didn't have water yesterday (a city problem that was fixed by the time i got home), that my mind just made these tiny problems that no longer exist explode in my dreams. he asked if i thought the place was too good to be true, and i must admit i do. it's gigantic and cheap (comparatively) and i have free cable. i figured that was why i had those dreams, trying to find something wrong with the place, and he agreed. he said to just tell myself, "this place is great, and i love it." i have to come to terms with my awesome apartment. ;)
or maybe there's a demon in my ceiling? i'm getting weird vibes from it now. oh well.
this morning a little before 11 i heard a dainty little shatter and knew one of the cats knocked over a vase. my favorite one, too, that looks like a bunch of shattered glass just glued together? most of my dried flowers from owen were harmed in the process. le sigh.
this count down is going to get annoying, but this is, like, really really close. 43 days, yo, and i have my little elvin boy.
<3, chels
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