posted on July 10, 2004 @ 9:16 am
i'm the only 20-year-old on earth who has never been on a date. i've only even had one real "boyfriend," and he's dead now.
what is up with my life? seriously. no wonder i'm as f*cked up as i am.
and now, there's a guy in pennsylvania ridiculously enamored with me and moving 1700 miles just to be with me.
not that that's a bad thing. it's just odd. in no shape or form do i have a "normal" life. sometimes, despite how much i knock it, i'd like a little normality. i realize it'd be lame and boring and predictable, but i'd know what's coming and that'd be comforting. not to mention for the most part my life now is lame and boring as it is.
last night/early this morning after TLC turned into infomercials, i turned to HGTV's version of interior decorating shows. this woman had a young girl, a toddler, and an infant who had taken over her dining room as a play room. she wanted it back as a fancypants formal room, so they did it for her. all the while, i'm thinking, it'd be nice to have a formal dining room. to have kids rampaging my house. a nice husband. a neat little life. though i could never live in a suburb. ugh. at least not a snooty one.
when i'm home, it just feels comforting knowing there's somewhat of a routine. their house is a veritable looney bin considering its inhabitants, but that's what makes their normalcy nice. mom works 6:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. monday through friday, doug works whenever (he's the store director, so he has a little more pick, barring strange occurances). he takes sarah to school in the morning, mom picks her up in the afternoon, and since mom's at home on the weekends with sarah it's not a big deal that doug works weekends. they do yard work on saturdays. one will mow, the other trim the bushes. sometimes one will do both if the other's working. sarah does tae kwon do during the week (and is about to get her black belt; she can kick your ass. i can't mess with her anymore because she's hurt me before, and she's pound-for-pound half my size). the grandparents come visit on the weekends, or they pack up and go there to see their old friends and the grandparents.
the point is, if i could transplant that life into an interesting city (i.e. anywhere but longview), that doesn't sound half bad to me.
this morning i saw some infomercial about how fish oil can help you. icelandhealth.com. they talked about the fact people in iceland have the lowest mortality rate in the world, and the highest life expectancy rate after japan. suddenly i thought, i'd like to go to iceland. maybe i can live there.
my brain is finding just about everywhere attractive now. (you can watch what i saw here, if you're really that bored. the interviewer sure looks bored as hell.)
oh, and there's a lump in my wrist. katie seemed as troubled/horrified as i was when she poked it. can anyone out there make it go away? i'm remembering david jackson's cyst on his hand when we were seniors in high school. i'd always draw faces on it, it was that big. maybe that's what it is. it hurts when i poke it excessively hard. owen said to stop poking it, but i don't work like that. man, this hurts. :pokes harder: ow! what about from this angle... ow! oh. a while ago i was experiencing terrible pain in that wrist, similar to the way it feels now. gross, it was growing.
owen called yesterday at 6:20-something p.m. and my phone died at 10:51 p.m. (i had a customer; that's why i remember, that and my strange thing with numbers). that's insane.
i just realized that infomercial for fish oil is still playing in the other window.