posted on September 03, 2003 @ 7:10 pm
"strangelove," depeche mode
"jumpin' jack flash," rolling stones
"see you," saves the day
earlier a man paid for his ticket, and he looked like an aryan version of my dad. he was much shorter (dad's about six feet tall) and had blonde hair, but his eyes were so close to dad's. my eyes' tendency to be grey comes from dad's eyes. aryan imitation dad had a bit bluer eyes, but just like mine, real dad's eyes changed. imitation dad had difficulty speaking, and it looked and sounded as if he were going to cry. he wasn't, that was just his countenance. it's strange that depeche mode would come on my radio; the reason i like 80s new wave bands is my dad. mom liked the hair bands (she's such a rocker ;p).
when jennifer and i were in deck the walls, we saw one of those 80s paintings of women with short hair. you know, they're white with black hair, and they appear sort of androgynous. in a few you can see their breasts. anyway, dad had one of those. he gave me my giant boulevard of broken dreams painting in my dining area.
anyway, things have been bringing dad back into my mind lately, and i miss him. as i stared into the face of aryan imitation dad, all i could think of was going antiquing with real dad, eating his pork chops even though they were too dry and i don't like pork, getting a townhouse because he'd lived in one and i loved it. so many things he has done cannot be forgiven, but every now and then i do have a positive memory of him and miss him so much.