posted on July 02, 2003 @ 6:53 pm
-"slave to the wage," placebo
-"my own summer,"
-"minerva," deftones
-"like a stone," audioslave
-"driven under," seether
"glycerine," bush
-"just," radiohead
-"days of the phoenix," afi
since they're not letting me skip on my radio station, i'm back to videos. brian molko is the most beautiful man ever. yes, ever. i also intend to marry nick wheeler from all-american rejects (any relation to joey? :giggle: wow, that was bad, a yu-gi-oh joke. i'd take joey, too, though). oh, nick's in white. he has nice hair. i don't like the lead singer like everyone else; his facial structure scares me. if his face were just a bit less square, he'd be pretty hot. he's got nice eyes and lips and hair; he shows potential. ;) he always looks so serious, though. the boy needs to smile.
i didn't eat anything yesterday until 1:00 a.m.: mashed potatoes and cheese and macaroni. i started feeling sort of nauseated around 4:30 or 5:00 a.m., so i went to bed. at 8:41 a.m., i woke up and puked my guts out. it was all white, though, so i'm glad i hadn't any other food to puke up and make it orange/brown. jennifer knocked on the door and asked if i was ok, and when i said yes she told me she was leaving for work.
there was a lump of nastiness in my throat (like now), so i brushed my teeth stumbled back to bed (my calves still hurt), only to awake an hour later and return to the toilet. since i'd already emptied my stomach, i was simply coughing and gagging on the slimy yellow stuff that was coming up. a couple of times i felt like i was suffocating, which made me panic. my throat just closed up completely, and i couldn't breathe or cough. it was terrofying.
that time left a nasty taste in my throat because there was some serious acid coming up. i knew i wasn't finished for the morning, but suffering from a lot of pain (mostly my back) i skipped the tooth-brushing and got back into bed.
like clockwork, an hour later i returned to the toilet. this time was the worst, the most painful. there was nothing but yellow globs coming out of me when there was anything at all, and my throat was burning. when i finally quit, i could tell that would be all. i got a handful of water to drink, but my stomach started hurting again so i skipped the brushing. i finally slept, for a good three or four hours, with only my usual awakenings.
i was going to call in sick, but after trying two people and not getting anyone (supervisors were in a meeting i later learned), i just sucked it up and went. i got some wendy's chicken nuggets on the way because i could feel some hunger welling up. i managed to eat them over time, and the root beer helped dissolve some of the mess in my throat. since it's watered-down now, however, there's more gunk in my throat that seems to be there to stay.
oh, let me tell you about my neighbors. they're two barbie doll sisters, named�get this�jessica and kelly. i asked jennifer, "do they have a cousin named skipper?"
"they made a chelsea barbie now, you know."
":clearing her throat: we don't need to go there."
anyway, monday when we were moving in, there was an empty case of beer outside their door. i thought, this is promising, sarcastically of course. then, last night around midnite when we were hauling some more stuff up, we saw them going to their place with another case. jennifer said, "at least we know where to get booze and boys." yeah, frat boys. x_X i looked at them and their guests on their balcony as i was driving off once, and a guy waved at me. i was nice; i waved back. they've got a yappy dog named donna i think. it's a midget furball. monday, whilst hot and stressed, i heard her yapping and proclaimed i was going to eat it if it didn't shut up. i don't think anyone was paying attention to me, though.
on the way to my car last night around 10:00, a pretty guy with pretty hair was leaving, too. he said hello to jennifer (i was far behind), then got into the three-door saturn she was raving over. it's a terrible color, though, and the headlights (he was behind us down burton drive) look like eyes; it was creepy.
the lead singer of seether is cute in that angsty metal way. and his hair's bright red and his labret is pierced. :purrs:
this is really long. anyway, it's really odd, but i want to have a baby. it's strange that my biological clock is ticking, but if you really think about it, i've been able to reproduce for about eight and a half years. other animals get knocked up right when they're able (tima went into heat when she was six months old!), but we sit around and wait and wait. one night on loveline dr. drew was telling this guy that his fianc� probably didn't want children because she had such a large part in raising all of her little sisters. i can understand how a whole gaggle could make you feel that way, but only having sarah, it was so much fun. i always played with her and her friends when they'd come over, and i'll never forget the hours we spent just lying in the ball pit at burger king, trying to throw the balls into a tear in the fishnet ceiling and talking. once there were three other kids who came in, so we started a fight between them and us, and we were all chasing each other through the place.
then there was when i got to go to the three-year-old room at sarah's old daycare for a class in highschool, and i can't wait til we go back to chuck e. cheese again. that was the most fun, how we got the kids to gang up against john, and the boy who asked me inside the tubes, "are you a mother?" the last time i went home, sarah had a friend over, alex. while they were still in the pool, mom put in a pizza for them and left to take doug food at work. when they came in they were talking in the living room til the pizza was done. i cut it up and told them if they didn't come eat it, i would, so they both came charging into the kitchen. i sat at the table with them, looking through the paper's ads, talking with them. then we played sarah's spongebob game. that was the night bryan played in kilgore, so i didn't get more playtime in. i just...i don't know, it's just so impossible to not be completely elated around children. one time i helped this lady babysit nine kids, ages ranging from a few months to nine years, and all day was so fucking fun. she did the kitchen stuff or held the baby as he slept (he was hers) while i kept the others entertained, but they had a huge playroom the length of the kitchen and living room, so it was great. i only got like $20 or some ridiculous low price, but i didn't care. that baby had so much character; it was great.
well this is enough mindless babble for one entry. i'll take my leave.
"you do it to yourself, you do, that's why it really hurts."
<3, chelsea.
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