posted on June 19, 2003 @ 4:53 pm
-"my sundown," jimmy eat world
-"little rich working class oi-boy," queers
-"novocaine for the soul," eels
-"girl afraid," smiths
-"love you madly," cake
-"been caught stealing," jane's addiciton
wow, "my sundown." yeah. beaucoup (being pronounced boocoo hehe) hours of crying to this last year. i can guarantee these lyrics are in here a dozen times, and they're in my livejournal just as much most likely. i love the album version because it's five minutes and forty seconds long. :floats away: i'm going to put the words in here, so if you don't want to read them, scroll til you see no more italics.
i see it around me. i see it in everything. i could be so much more than this. i said my goodbyes. this is my sundown. i'm gonna be so much more than this. with one hand high, you'll show them your progress. you'll take your time, but no one cares. no one cares. i need you to show me the way from crazy. i wanna be so much more than this. good good bye, lovely time. good good bye, tinsel shine. good good bye, i'll be fine. good good bye, good good night.
hahaha and the queers suddenly start blaring. now that's a change in mood. i bought super expensive dexatrim last night so i can become a croaka fa speed, and they actually are kind of speed-y, a little. i ate a hot dog this afternoon and felt so full i wanted to puke. it was interesting.
there's a guy who works here (i'm at work, hence the "here") who is strangely interesting in that aloof sort of way. stephanie and i were talking about it last night, and we're both relieved to know there's someone else out there as freakish as our respective selves. now we're determined to get him drunk to see him uninhibited. :shrug: she's like that, too, likes getting people drunk. it's weird all the little things about me i see in her.
once on the radio, the dj played this eels songs and prefaced it with, "this goes out to two beautiful ladies out in longview!" leah and i had just called to request it, so we were psyched a hot guy (we'd met him before) was giving a shot-out. woo. she called a few times while i was home, but i didn't talk to her. i just didn't feel like it.
last night jennifer was talking about this guy at her store alex who is ridiculously hot. he told her about going to some ska show, so she told him that i really like punk and ska. they started talking about video games, and she said, "my roommate's got a turbo grafx!" he was impressed by that (i knew he'd know what it was and duely respect it), and he said i should come over and we could play "d and d" together. ha. haha. :continues to laugh: i don't know, you just got to see him. he's just so pretty.
jennifer and i had this long talk about how hedonistic and shallow people can be. the main idea of part of it was it doesn't matter what you wear or how you accerise because a person will look at your face, look at your body, then approach you or keep walking. the only reason people introduce themselves to others is because they're thinking, "man, [s]he's hot. i'd like to [sexual act] [him/her]. which is the basic reason i don't talk to anyone i don't know: i know they're not going to talk back. it was so very depressing. i told her about that self esteem test steph was giving me. it's really odd to me to know that when she reads those, she laughs, but my answers were mostly some level of agreeance (sp?). a guy who was there for a while heard when she asked the one that asked if i believe the main reasons people find others interesting or why they like them is because of their looks or wealth. i agreed, and he asked, "you actually believe that?" jennifer said it was more of a realist test. it's just to determine whether you have your head up your ass. like one that said something about you having significance in life? ultimately, very very few people have a lasting impact on things. thusly, virtually no one leads a truly significant life. :shrug:
i think that's all. the main points were alex and diet pills. oh! oh!oh!oh!
I BOUGHT HE-MAN SHEETS!
i also got the second care bears movie on dvd. :falls over: aaaand this pair of flip flops i saw once but couldn't find my size. i watched the care bears before i came to work. i love the final song. my life is slowly becoming complete... ;)
"you think i'm square, don't like the clothes i wear, the way i comb my hair, the way i sit and stare at you. it's just a game to take the spotlight off of me. i'm just afraid of what you might think. sing another stupid song about everything that's wrong. girls and other surface things do mean a lot to me but i cannot let you in too deep. i'm just afraid of what you might think. don't walk away from me, listen to what i say. alright i'm sorry, i never wanted it this way. i took it too far with my insecurities. i'm just afraid of what you might think."
<3, chels.
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