posted on September 17, 2002 @ 2:35 am
b v9o"lovertits," peaches
"life on a chain," pete yorn
"summer overture," requiem for a dream
"cigarettes and chocolate milk," rufus wainwright
"dust in the wind," sarah brightman
i still kind of have issues with sarah brightman.
shannoff's the big 2-0 aujourd'hui.
so. yeah. well, i guess i can pick up from the last entry, almost a month ago. i did go home, and jonathan asked if i'd be his again. hmm...wonder what i said. he said he didn't like the idea of me being able to go get someone else, even though technically i could. this way (as i'd tried to reason with him), it's like impossible since i know he wants to be with me. i didn't tell my family that i came home, so i just stayed at his house. it was quite the nice. friday night, ryan and derek stayed over. ryan was holding my hand (we were all lying in the floor trying to "sleep") and put it on his penis. he was just in boxers, so yes, friends, it was the flesh. the next day he said with a grin, "that made me feel funny. did it make you feel funny?" it was quite unsettling considering what my other hand was doing. it's just so odd, considering i would have loved to have touched his penis a year and a half ago. ;P
oh, wait, what was i saying? anyway, that weekend was very fun and wonderful, and i hardly even cried when i had to leave; i waited til i was driving off. his mom maid me a cake since i won't be there for my birthday (in three days), and bob even stuck her finger in it as family tradition calls for. jonathan bought me a necklace with a vial of pixie dust on it (and a pixie on the vial) and a beautimous snow globe with a fairy in it and another one and flowers around the outside; it plays "green sleeves." he said that with her birthday money, bob bought me the aki doll i've been craving for so long. bob is so goddamned cool. i want her to move down here, too. she's a virgo and ever as groovy as me.
school is, eh, school. all my classes are very damned cool, cultural antrhopology being the least interesting. one of the TAs is into historical linguistics, and wednesday he's lecturing about languages. i'm so excited. i haven't gone to my discussion section yet, so i'm really hoping he's my TA. :crosses her fingers: when i go in, he'll probably be like, who the hell? middle english is so motherfuckingoddamned cool. that's the only word for it. i checked out growth and structure of the english language by otto jespersen because i've gotten all hardcore about said title of book. there are two german guys in my class, one of whom is a painfully beautiful nazi (as my people have deemed him): he's got long blonde hair always in a ponytail and blue eyes. today kaulbach (le prof) asked him whether or not a verb was infinitive and why, and the german dude said, "i just translated it into german, and in german it's infinitive." his accent's so thick. :falls over: i have to learn german. linguistics is going to be difficult just because we have one midterm and one final paper. i'm supposed to have a paper written for tomorrow, but it doesn't look like it's going to get done. it's five per cent of my final grade, though, so maybe i'll spit some BS out before i pass out. that class isn't until 12:30 anyway. i switched back to third semester french, and i'm very happy i did so. my teacher is french and really really young. it's the class i need to be in.
when layla moved down here, i started hanging out with her. i really missed her over the summer. the day that michael moved in, he came over for a bit and then jenn and i went to his apartment. i really missed him a lot, too. i still haven't been to the metro since i've gotten back. sadness. i LOVE having my car. vive la voiture!
two weekends ago, jenn threw a dinner party. she made lasagne, salad, and strawberry cheesecake, all of which were quite nice. carmen, john, davey, rosa, and layla showed up, so it was a regular bash. bryan came by at 11:00 p.m., and we went to see sean hall play. :dances: he talked to us before the show about, you know, whatever, and afterward i had him get the guys to sign my cd of theirs. sean asked me, "did dipto draw something vulgar on the inside of your cd?"
"no..."
"lemme see it. :takes it: dipto! draw something on this for her."
dipto: "do you want a penis? i can do vaginas, too."
me: "how about both."
"i know. :draws: it's a worm! :draws: and a penis! :draws:"
:sean returns: "what are you doing?"
me: "he won't stop."
sean: "man, why are you drawing the chronic on her cd?"
dipto: ":drawing a marijuana leaf on my cd: she wanted the chronic!"
me: "did not!"
yeah, so naturally i know those five songs by heart, now. hehe. sean took his lip ring out. very not cool. it's so kick ass it takes me uno minuto to walk to the back room.
last weekend was really fun. layla, jennifer, and i went to aaron's apartment to give arty some of his shirts he had left at our dorm last year, but we had to go back when we got home because layla forgot to give marc a letter delphine wrote for him. i was really sad i didn't get to see marc the first time we went there, so i got all excited about seeing him when we went back. after he read it, we ended up going inside the apartment. i sat by marc at the table, jenn and layla sat on the other side behind a mass of empty beer bottles. we all drank a smirnoff (even jenn!), and marc kept trying to get me to drink with him. he was telling me about his horrible day, etc., so i did one shot of vodka with him. he tried to get me to drink more, and i sarcastically said, "i have to drive! ok, just a couple more and we'll hit the road." the sad thing is, that's what happened. LoL. well, that's not really that funny. anyway, i convinced marc to come back to our phat palacial estate. when we were standing on my balcony, marveling at my fabulous downtown view (hehe), he said that the best thing about that day was seeing me smile. he always says such nice, corny shit like that. i took layla and arty home, and when i got back we went to bed. we both plopped down on my bed at the same time, and one of the slats underneath it fell off. LoL. he asked me if i considered him another girl since i can sleep with him and not feel threatened. i just told him it was because i know he's not going to be an asshole. he gave me an eskimo kiss, and we slept til like noon-thirty, when layla called. jenn, marc, chris dentler, arty, and myself ate at schlotzky's, then jenn and i returned home. marc said he might come next weekend for my birthday, but i'm not really planning on it. heh. it'd be nice, though; i really do enjoy his company.
the last couple of weeks have been hell, though, because i haven't had my psycho drugs, i've had pms, and i really really miss jonathan. i haven't gotten a chance to talk to him for more than two minutes at a time in like four days, and i'm not going to be able to talk to him in the next couple of days. i was supposed to kidnap him this weekend and make him stay with me from thursday til tuesday, but things are fucking up as always. i just want to cry so so much. "when things get worse it seems like no one is around. it's not okay." i miss derek and ryan, and today i had a particular pang of nostalgia for michael. i talked to him online tonight, and he said he walked a girl to class, and since it was raining he gave her his umbrella. he's too cute.
i bought jonathan three things for his box (that consequently won't fit into his box), and i bought myself a kick-ass water spirit faerie necklace and an army of darkness lunchbox, the latter for only $5. when i carried my evil dead lunchbox last week, i got a guy tripping out on how cool it was in the elevator. today, a guy walking toward me marveled at my a.o.d. one, and we stood there in front of the gym talking about how cool those movies are. he said he had the evil dead lunchbox, too. hehe.
that's about it. i really really want to smoke again, but everytime i go to get some cigarettes, i get nauseous. i had one last weekend, and it was nice. :sigh:
well, janeanie beanie's asleep on my shoulder right now. he (yep, discovered she's a he) was sleeping underneath my shirt (i have a fan pointed at me), but then i remembered he has fleas. it was so cute seeing a cat use my boob as a body pillow, though. that really says something about my boob. it was even my left one, the slightly smaller one. LoL.
this song plays fairly often on 101x, but i still am crying writing this.
"can't you see that i wanna be there with open arms? it's empty tonite, and i'm all alone. get me through this one. do you notice i'm gone? where do you run to so far away? i want you to know that i miss you, i miss you so. i'm writing again these letters to you on much i know, but i'm not asleep and you're not here. the thought stops my heart. no more looking; i've found home."
<3, pyx.
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