posted on August 28, 2002 @ 7:24 am
a fan and the kittens
my eyes are swollen half shut because last night i sobbed for two hours. none of that wimpy crying, getting over it, realizing i'm not over it, repeat cycle. no, this was constant. i could hardly talk because 1) i was crying, duh and 2) i couldn't breathe out of my nose. i'm sitting here eating toast holding a cold washcloth over my eyes. i've got a pretty bad headache, but i'm hoping most of that is just my post-awakening illness that goes away in an hour or so.
i talked to jonathan about what i wrote in my last entry, and i realized i don't want that. i like wandering around in a jonathan daze. i like that everytime i'm near deodorant i grab his kind and force jennifer to smell it. my computer just fucked up, so i'll summerize quickly so i can actually get this posted. he said he couldn't help but be "cautious" now because i said that, even though i tried to tell him i didn't mean it. he said that didn't take away the fact that i said it. that hurt so much because i know i didn't mean it. i tried saying everything i thought would work, and he finally told me that he believed me. friday afternoon when i get out of class, i'm going to go home and see him. derek said he was excited about seeing me, his mom, too.
now i need to go finish eating, soaking my eyelids, and getting ready for :gasp: school. :dramatic music: i've got to catch the bus in half an hour.
"breathe deeply from this envelope; it smells like you and i can't live without that scent, it's filling me with all you mean to me."
<3, pyx.
prev - next