posted on Tuesday, Jun. 28, 2005 @ 14:50
"le soleil est pr�s de moi," "j'ai dormi sous l'eau," air
i appreciate that the novel the rules of attraction has a small chapter in french, and i especially appreciate it was kept simple enough such that i understood it all. it's a tragedy i have forgotten so much of it. maybe i should move to quebec. canadian french isn't that drastically different.
anyway. i'm not in a splendid mood. not necessarily bad, just apathetic. i think it's the dregs of pms just haunting me, or the ever present shadow of my past's depression looming over my head. though i suppose it wouldn't be my past's if it's present now. the ever present fucked-up-hood of my brain continues to harass me as i try to get on with a normal life.
tomorrow is valerie's 21st birthday. people are going to 6th street to celebrate, so she can get her free shots everywhere at midnite. i was unsure whether i would go or not, but now i feel pretty convinced i won't. all i want to do it go home and watch "charmed" and build the giant bookcase i bought last night. times like these is when i wished i lived in the middle of nowhere. that way i wouldn't have to worry about my neighbors hearing me hammer. i could sit outside and really beat the thing away. hammering is a good stress reliever, not to mention the fact i love assembling things no matter how large or small.
i just don't want to be near anyone (owen being an exception cause he's always around and therefore never a bother). sometimes it's overwhelming knowing i've had a minimal amount of friends all my life. i have acquaintances i can get drunk with and spill my guts to as a result, but no one calls me up just to hang out or talk. the only people who ever even call are mom, nana, and maybe owen. i don't get to eat lunch with anyone. i can sit in an office filled with five other people and not have a word spoken to me for over an hour as they laugh it up (annoyingly loud, may i add).
but this mindless rambling must end for i have a meeting to attend.