posted on Sunday, Apr. 10, 2005 @ 03:51
it's very complicated when i say, "i don't adapt well to change."
every year i want to move to a new apartment in a new part of town. eventually i'd really like to move away from austin just for the sake of exploring my options.
but when the stage in the metro got walled up, with only two small windows covered by aluminum blinds, i was upset. this morning as owen and i sat there for about an hour, the light was harsh from the lack of hazy cigarette smoke, and i was sad. the girl working was unfriendly and very hipster-esque, and horrible rap music was playing too loudly.
i thought back to the days of broccoli and the girl with the body of a boy (no boobs whatsoever) and the tattooed guy who played the descendents and kept lighting my cigarettes. of the couches upstairs, the barbie doll head on the bathroom keys, and stalking the guy who looked like jesus. when a group of strange people who were either drunk or far too high on life left, i went to their table and inspected the surrounding bricks. i found "layla + stefan" and some hearts, and on the other side of the table my pixie, a heart, and a rainbow. these. are. old. i'm talking three years, and they're still there. the stage is gone, the smoking is gone, the awesome staff is gone. but our marks are still there.
when i revisited my elementary school last year i was horrified to see the changes. the "firearm-free zone" sign, the fence keeping people out, the garden that had been planted. even the lack of graffiti somehow was unsettling.
that's pretty major, though. just little things, when they change, i can't help but to think back to "the good old days." at the same time, as aforementioned, i want to go new places and see new things. i suppose i'm looking for new places that will hopefully remain static.