posted on May 20, 2004 @ 1:25 pm
last night mom and i got into a huge fight over my lack of money and no place to live come july. she says she doesn't remember being the co-signer of my previous two apartments, and i told her she can't fucking remember 15 minutes ago, how is she going to remember two years ago? she refused to write a letter telling the new apartments they pay my rent (making her, more or less, a co-signer, but not technically since only full-time students can have them), and she blamed me for not being able to be hired at another job. she even had the stupidity to suggest i talk to them about the requirement of your salary being three and a half times the rent. i told her that was like all the assholes who complain to me about parking prices. i haven't experienced a complex that doesn't have that rule, and i'm sure some corporate slob ruling over hundreds of complexes is not going to change his policy because one little girl in texas has no place to live. she kept saying my guilt trips won't work on her, but she doesn't seem to realize being homeless is not a guilt trip.
where i was working, PG7, it has a little office attached to the larger one. behind the door of that office, there's a short filing cabinet beneath a shelf. once i was on the phone with owen and effectively sobbing and annoying the hell out of him i'm sure, i curled up between the cabinet and the shelf and opened the door so that it touched the cabinet and i had my own little alcove. mom called back and said she'd write the letter, and as i sobbed she instructed, "cheer up."
"no."
"what do you mean 'no'?"
"i still don't have any money."
"well, we'll work on that."
before leaving i managed to start crying in front of nina, terrifying her i'm sure.
i tried finding drugs through layla and cole, but they were out. cole told me to call le'britney; i went so far as to take her number down, but didn't feel comfortable enough calling her. i was going to call steph and see if she knew where noah was, but jared said he'd been sent back to jail. ultimately, i decided spending money on drugs would just worsen the situation.
thusly, last night i let the kittens sleep with me.
"my name is tima, and i will eat your soul!"
that one's kinda creepy to me; she looks like a skull. well, the white part of her.
at two, when the tv's sleep timer clicked the set off, i wanted to go to the metro. i wanted an iced banana mocha cooler ($3.25) and cigarettes ($3.48). then i remembered i need gas, so sleep had to suffice.
this morning i woke up to find janeane sleeping between my legs. i had been on my back with my legs apart, apparently. that boy loves crotch, i tell you what. later he was scratching at the door to get out, and when i opened the door i heard tima's tags from the other side of the room. i waited a while and then saw her emerge from my desk drawer with letters and stationery in it. it's only open maybe six inches, but she has an obsession with fitting into tight spaces.
like the end tables. i told her last night it's like she's trying to fit into clothes a size too small.
i came into work today at one so the day cashier can do whatever it is he feels he needs to do. (i sound more cynical than i feel; i'm just tired.) i'm expecting a post card, and i really hope it comes today; it would make me feel so much better.
living fossil said the high next wednesday should be 95. horrifying.
<3, chels.
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