posted on December 23, 2003 @ 2:19 pm
tarzan on disney
mom says beginning in second grade, i returned home every afternoon in tears. i have no recollection of this, yet everytime i visit this town i can imagine it happening now. when i step out, i feel like the round, retarded girl sitting at the table next to ours in the fifth grade. constantly we teased her behind her back and, sometimes, to her face. we teased each other by forming some bond between them and her. no wonder my hardened elementary school shell melted away when i moved to longview in the sixth grade; i could feel myself being that lone girl at the lunch table. i've festered inside this house for the past three and a half days, save for my two-hour excursion to the park yesterday. i've no money to spend, but i want to venture into the shopping mayhem and feel everyone's heightened energy.
when i left my home for longview at 11:00 p.m. friday night, i was wearing my pink converse, black pants with glittery silver pinstripes, my orange mae shirt, red- and black-striped tights on my arms, a hello kitty bandana, and dangling star earrings. this all in addition to my usual mess of rings, bracelets, giant watch, other earrings, and for the sake of longview let's mention piercings. my thoughts when i left were, ooh, colorful, and i bounded down the stairs fever-relieved yet coughing, 7-11 my destination. maybe i'd see the cute boy with whom i've spoken of yu-gi-oh and the renaissance festival? upon finally arriving at mary jane dr., longview, tx, at 3:30 a.m., all i could think was, thank goodness it's dark, and no one's awake.
i have so many scores to settle with this city, and i want them settled now. my body tires of weeping and remembering and hiding during each stay. let's see if mom needs to do any more last-minute shopping today. i'll deck myself out.