posted on October 29, 2002 @ 6:44 pm
"temptation," new order
aaaahhhh! that's a rage-y scream. jonathan's being a prick. :growls: at least owen emailed me, too, to soften my anger. i wish i could break something. :sigh: now i want to cry. i wish my head would decide on one thing to do. in any case, i'll just go smoke a cigarette and not cut myself. how's that sound? maybe i'll go to layla's and see if i can drink some of iliana's japanese alcohol. i'm sure it tastes hideous, but it's supposed to really fuck you up. i'm going to be such an alcoholic when i turn 21, or at least when i meet someone i'm comfortable enough with to ask them to buy me alcohol.
i'm glad layla has developped a fondness for weed. with alcohol, there's always that possibility i'll just get 100x sadder and kill myself or something, especially if i'm alone. but with weed, how can you fucking get sad? i'm too busy laughing at every utterence i hear to even think of being sad. there's some party wednesday night, with a band playing at a guy's house, and if it's still going on when layla and i get off (at midnite) we're going to go. she was like, "ooh, maybe we can smoke...in the middle..of the week." lol. then of course there are a million thursday night, but i work. jeff does, too, so maybe he'll bring a joint up to work since we're stuck there. he should, so i won't have to sit there and feel sorry for myself.
man, saturday layla, iliana, and i went to see the used, h20, and boxcar racer. it was so goddamned motherfucking cool. those are the only words for it. ;P i bought a really cool used shirt with cut-out words. their song "taste of ink" still makes me feel fabulous, and that's not even the word when it comes to how it feels to be able to scream it at the top of my lungs. i gave some 12-year-olds cigarettes. heh. any way i can corrupt the youth of america! h20 did a cover of "like a prayer" by madonna. do you know how cool it is to mosh to madonna? boxcar was really scary cause everyone was going fucking nuts. i almost fell several times, and at one point my glasses got knocked off and almost completely took my nose ring with them. my nose is still super sore. we got a lil drunk before we went, so all in all it was fabulous; i could bounce around and scream and not give a fuck about the people around me. my people were all fucking 20 feet away from me. yeesh.
afterward, we went to jeff's til three (which i guess is technically two because of daylight savings). we just sat around and smoked a joint and talked and stuff. he said all you need to be a ninja turtle was a sock with holes cut in it and wrapped around your head, a paper bag on your back, and a big knife for your sword. i laughed so hard for so long because can you imagine how fast you'd be running if you saw someone like that approach you? his girlfriend came over dressed up like april o'neil from the ninja turtles; she looked cute. at least she didn't have the crazy 80s hair. hehe.
ohmigod, last night layla and i painted our rooms. we were sitting in the spiderhouse and started getting bored. she was trying to do french, and after reading "the metamorphosis" for a while i just curled up in a ball on the couch and dozed. we started talking about painting our rooms and stuff, and ended up at wal-mart buying gallons of paint. she got a gorgeous red, and i got purple zest. zest i tell you! :giggle: so now we each have a painted wall, and tonight we're going to stamp suns and stars on them. our suns are going to be yellow, my stars blue, and her stars black (her sheets are black, and her comfortor's red). two nights in a row i took caffeine pills to keep me up, so i went to sleep around 4:30 this morning and just woke up half an hour ago. lol. oh yeah, and i read through my lease and discovered that they could evict me for painting my wall. oops. ;P
anyway, i'm going to go scrounge up some grub and smoke and call layla. at least i feel considerably better now. oh! i wrote this really interesting paper on second person pronouns. i like it. you should tell me you want to read it so i can send it to you. yesterday layla, jenn, shab and i went to this shop electric ladyland (with vintage clothes and halloween costumes), and while we were driving there i mentioned it to shab. she was like, "um, yeah, so tell me about it."
"no, if i start, i won't stop."
i did talk about it a bit, but i forced myself to stop because i know none of them care. did you know english is the only language that capitalizes the first person singular pronoun (I)? we're so pompous. i need to find someone who thinks pronouns and their evolution are absolutely fascinating. anyone? :stis alone:
"a heaven, a gateway, a hope just like the feeling inside. it's no joke. and though it hurts me to treat you this way, betrayed by words i'd never heard, too hard to say. up, down, turn around, please don't let me hit the ground. tonight i think i'll walk alone. i'll find my soul as i go home."
<3, chelsea.
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