posted on July 29, 2002 @ 8:45 pm
"santeria," sublime
"i wish i was something," fenix tx
"i walk alone," oleander
"always something there to remind me," the hippos
jonathan and i had a conversation about how i'm a mental case (well he says i'm not, but we all know otherwise) and how he can't talk to me. it was very upsetting, and i cried, but as soon as i got off the phone i played my clarinet. this afternoon mom took me to mundt music, and i bought two reeds. i had to get a 3 and a 3.5 since it's been three years since i've played (i used to play on a 4, which apparently is a rarity for high school musicians). i had the tighest embouchure in the history of...embouchures. lol, not really, but it was pretty damn good. i was the only person whose extreme-range notes were sharp, rather than flat. whereas others were contanstly being commanded, "tighten up!" i was being commanded, "loosen up!" hehe. i was just so good. actually, if i was good, i would have always been in tune. ;) anyway, i still remember all my fingerings and everything, and i can actually play a march trio (the crazy non-stop part for us woodwinds) decently. ah, the pain in my lip and thumb and the disgusting bamboo taste in my mouth. ;) i love it. i remember how i always used to flip my reed vertically in my mouth, and one day i got the entire clarinet section (about 24 in my band) trying the same. we looked ridiculous. hehe.
the point of that digression is: i now feel fabulous. playing my clarinet while listening to my stereo really loud has always been the only thing to calm me down (in addition to opening a vein or two, but i can't do that anymore). now i'm going to skip away into the sunset, daisies in hand. lol.
"everybody, everything i've known never taught me how to stand up on my own. now i've got to learn from the ones who let me go." (or, you know, i could listen to the ones i have ;P)
<3, chelsea, then english/band geek.
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