posted on May 12, 2002 @ 4:26 am
Starla3379: i'll talk to you tomorrow
Reine des Pixies: okie doke
Starla3379: i love you and know you'll get through this
Reine des Pixies: thanks, love you too (:
Starla3379: don't forget
Starla3379: night night
shannon, on the phone moments later: "you sound so sweet. i want to kiss you. haha, just kidding, i would never kiss a girl."
me: "aww, i'm so offended that you don't want to kiss me."
shannon: "i don't want to kiss a girl. but you sound so sweet."
me: "i am."
shannon: "sleep tight."
me: "have good sex."
shannon: "i'll have an extra orgasm for you. i'll scream out your name. that will be kind of awkward: 'chelsea! i mean..doug!'"
bryan, from my lap: "i love you."
me: "i love you, too."
bryan, from my lap: "you have marvelous eyes."
me: "i know."
cluthu: Just try to remember your meds and do your best not to be alone, okie?
cluthu: ^_^ Love you.
bryan: "do you like dreaming of things so impossible?"
me: "yes."
i did it. =/ hope i don't get tetinus...it was rusty as hell. i scrubbed it, though. i do, however, feel a hell of a lot better. i just wish it weren't 900� outside so i could wear long sleeves. blah.
"i hurt myself today to see if i still feel. i focus on the pain, the only thing that's real. the [razor] tears a hole, the old familiar sting. try to kill it all away, but i remember everything. what have i become, my sweetest friend? everyone i know goes away in the end. you could have it all, my empire of dirt. i will let you down. i will make you hurt. i wear this crown of shit upon my liar's chair full of broken thoughts i cannot repair. beneath the stains of time the feeling disappears. you are someone else; i am still right here. if i could start again a million miles away, i would keep myself. i would find a way."
<3, chelsea.
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