posted on May 07, 2002 @ 9:36 pm
"for you to notice," dashboard
though the majority of the day has been spent in the throes of distress, i'm content. like that time when i went to the metro and came home feeling so nice because my stuff and i smelled like cigarettes. it's comfortable. it's what i know.
hating everything in the world is what i know, and i feel fine. i love that all i want to do is listen to korn and cry and shoot myself in the face, and hope that this time i stop taking my meds i won't get migraines. it's comfortable. it's what i know. pissing people off is what i know. being hated by the people from whom i need it least is what i know. everything fucking up (i.e. my computer, my grades, me) makes me feel comfortable. i don't feel shocked and amazed and hurt when something else happens because i'm expecting it. when i'm happy, i'm blinded, and the smallest thing kills me.
well, now i'm dead, so nothing can kill me. ha.
and i love it.
"and the picture frames are facing down, and the ringing from this empty sound is deafening and keeping you from sleep. and breathing is a foreign task, and thinking's just too much to ask. and you're measuring your minutes by a clock that's blinking eights."
<3, chelsea
former psycho
re-earning her title.
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