posted on Thursday, Mar. 17, 2011 @ 09:40
i may try to write in here again to keep track of my new psychiatric treatment. i saw a shrink (who doesn't accept insurance, no less) monday, and she gave me two prescriptions and samples.
one prescription is lamotrigine, an epilepsy medication that apparently also works well on people who suffer from bipolar disorder. there's a good chance this medication will give me a rash as one of the side effects, so i haven't started taking it yet. i'm going on vacation in a week, and i can't ruin it with a rash. it will take 6-8 weeks to slowly work up to the average dose.
the other prescription is abilify, which is used as an additive to anti-depressants as well as treatment for schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. this will start helping me within 1-2 weeks, and she said it would be temporary. she seemed to think i needed some immediate results. she gave me several samples, so i haven't filled the prescription yet. name-brand celebrity drugs that have tv commercials are expensive (i can only assume). i'm milking these samples as long as possible.
the abilify samples are 5mg pills. the prescription is for 10mg, so i'm working up to that. today is the third day on 2.5mg.
tuesday i took my first dose around 8AM. she said i should take it in the morning because it tends to "wake people up." i felt fine for a few hours then started feeling odd. i couldn't find the words for how i felt until finally i texted to mom that i felt like i wasn't in a three-dimensional plane; i felt like i was walking on a piece of paper with a picture of the garage on it. clearly she thought that was strange. i told tom�s that later, and as soon as i heard myself say it aloud i furrowed my brows and added, "that doesn't even make sense to me." as the day progressed, i became increasingly tired, physically weak, and cold. i felt slightly disoriented so tom�s drove home, and on the bumpy winding roads i became extremely nauseous. i lay down immediately at home and couldn't sit up for fear of vomiting. he cooked a corn dog for me (food generally settles my medication-related upset stomach), and as soon as i finished i felt well enough to stand. he made papas con huevos for supper, and after my first taco i felt nauseous again.
wednesday morning i was still a little out of it. i put my keys and phone in reverse pockets, something that's not entirely strange unless you understand how anal i am about things being consistent. i do not like change, and i follow routines strictly. keys always go in the right pocket, phone in the left. i took my second dose around 8:30AM i believe, and yesterday i had bouts of dizziness. i put a straw into my 7-eleven coffee before taking the wrapper off. to steal a phrase i heard jamie use, all day i felt one card short of a full deck. simple tasks and questions confused me, i was clumsier than usual, dropping things for no reason. i spoke to my coworkers very little and was agitated by just about everything around me. i was still rather tired, but no longer weak or cold. i would forget what i was doing, or blocks of time, or that plans had changed. tom�s mentioned going to maudie's before we went home then changed his mind. as i pulled up into our parking lot i thought, wait, why are we not a maudie's? and had to rewind through my short-term memory to figure it out. the nausea was much more tolerable yesterday. still incredibly uncomfortable, but lacking that feeling of imminence it had tuesday.
which brings us to today, thursday, my third dose. i had a hard time waking up this morning. even though i haven't slept well during this past month of a heavy depressive cycle, i never had a problem getting up for work. today i lay i bed staring at the clock, sleeping a few extra minutes, until i realized i was going to be late if i didn't get up immediately (thankfully spring break traffic is light and we made it at the very last minute, literally). i took my dose around 8:45AM, an hour ago, and i only feel tired and a little foggy-headed. not necessarily dizzy, just slow i guess.
well, i should get back to work. i suppose i'll have better information on thursday tomorrow.
prev - next