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posted on Wednesday, Apr. 23, 2008 @ 23:29

i'm not sure why i never write in here anymore. this has always been an exercise in futility. lately i've been stressed out about everything that comes my way, though, and trying very hard to ignore it all. i'm trying to be an adult. when i get my $600 from the government on 5/9 (incidentally, my sister's birthday), i'll have paid over $2k toward my credit card debt in only a couple months. i've got to improve my credit so i can buy a new car and find decent insurance so i can have some collateral to buy a house. i want an '08 mazda 3 hatcback, but civics are more dependable and have a slightly better resale value. not to mention the ridiculous 25/36 mpg, as opposed to mazda's 22/29. i'm not good at making logical decisions, especially when i have to drive by roger beasley mazda every day.

being an adult is very difficult, and doing it without the help of anti-depressants is very difficult. i'll start them again next week. in september, if i don't get a significant raise to compensate for all the extra work i'm doing, i won't know what to do. i won't know how to please these people.

i'm also not sleeping. i'm tired, but not sleeping.

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