posted on Monday, Aug. 07, 2006 @ 22:08
i'm not hanging in very well. earlier i cried some. it would have been more, but i refused to let it happen. as hard as i fight, my depression is only getting worse. even owen is asking if something is wrong. my aunt died last week, and i haven't even spoken to doug or toby. layla called last week, and i couldn't bring myself to respond. i don't know what to do with myself.
as i wasted away staring at an e! exclusive on cameron diaz, owen put in bubba ho-tep. the subject line is the only one good enough to break through this shit and cause me to erupt in laughter. i don't know why really. it reminded me of, "hey, she-bitch, let's go."
oh man, i'm in love. i'd marry bruce campbell if i could.
speaking of marriage, bryan (whom i met in the most excellent year 1995) married laura last week. there are lots of "last week"s in this entry. unfortunately, i was unable to attend the reception due to illness. that's the funnest part of depression: unexplained illness that lasts for a few months.
anyway, suffer through my photography as that's the only thing i can bring myself to do or in which to be interested.
laura, obviously. her shoes are pretty sweet. i think she's the only girlfriend bryan's had that i really like a lot. that guy in the pink shirt, i used to drool over him my freshman year (he graduated that year) along with one of his friends. he was so gorgeous and smart, but then he became addicted to pain killers and started having seizures. suddenly he was less smart, and thereby less gorgeous. his mom (who was also there) was my social studies teacher in sixth grade.
bryan's a big nerd. can you tell? that's why i love him. that and we're the same height.
alley along 2nd street between the west csc building and city hall.
this is about how i feel inside at the moment.
even though it messed up, i thought a dramatic picture of a fence was interesting. being so nauseous, i forgot to put the camera between the fence to get the construction work beyond.
i kept it big so you could see someone's response written in pencil below. mine and owen's shadows were in this, and i easily removed them thanks to the chaotic pattern of dead grass. (note: that's my car!)
my phone at work. thrilling.
a few feet north of the intersection of grover avenue & houston street. school + prison fence + impending storm = :(
i will be the first to admit this picture is the shit. sweet, that rhymes. i was lying on my bed, and tima's up on the headboard.
time for bed. i wanted to go to sleep a couple hours ago, but bruce was on tv, and owen would have become suspicious. just don't ask me about it. i promise i don't want to discuss it.