posted on Tuesday, Feb. 14, 2006 @ 06:14
quoth myself to the heb boy: "i should be able to love someone all year round."
/edit 14:42 /
yesterday one of my teeth broke.
it's one that had a root canal but no crown, and about a third of it broke, up to the gum. i made an appointment for today, but the bitch at the phone didn't bother letting me know they only take fortis PPO, not DMO (which is what i have) when i made the appointment. so i calmly left and thanked her and immediately began to sob once i had the door open and my back to her. the place looked ghetto, anyway, so i guess it's good i didn't stay.
i called the dentist i saw last july and finally got an answer (after none yesterday for an hour and a half). the chick said since there was no pain, the earliest i could come was the 23rd so he could take x-rays to know how far up it was broken. i repeated that it went to the gums, that i know how badly it's broken, and the pain is gradually growing along with infection. she then said i could come thursday with no guarantee anything other than an x-ray would happen.
at this point i was completely enraged. i spiked my phone into the floor, and it flew up into the air in two pieces (battery and phone itself). i punched a wall hard enough to just barely knick my two most prominent knuckles. and now i'm unusually violent, which is unsettling considering it's toward myself. if i hadn't wasted my money on stupid shit since july, my other tooth would be fixed. now i have to chew on that side on another bad tooth that just may chip [again] itself.
i called the chick at my dentist again to harass her further and drop the F bomb a time or two, purely to make myself feel better. which it did to a degree. i also discovered, when brushing my teeth a couple hours ago and finding blood, there's some sort of fleshy bump on my gums, above the other non-healthy tooth. i know for sure the decay in the other tooth has spread into my gums there, so i'm sure it's caused by that.
now i'm left with the ever-growing inability to breathe, an inhaler that expired two months ago, and the constant desire to harm myself. i was thinking this time it would be with salt and ice. you know, lick the skin, cover it with salt, then hold an ice cube there until it's just too fucking painful. once when i pulled the ice off, the top-most layer of skin came with it. rather unattractive if i do say so myself. but i'm not going to do that because that's retarded. plus, owen will be home in probably like half an hour or so, so i'm just going to go lie in bed and further my shameful addiction to six feet under, thanks to john who just keeps giving me season after season.
happy fucking valentine's day.
<3, chels
/ edit 16:21 /
this is to alter the dreary mood of this post.
"are you afraid of the dark" and "pete & pete." w00+! i also got law and order SVU valentines. coolest. present. ever.
these are some godzilla toys i got owen. they're pretty sweet.
and, of course, cat pictures. tonight's it's tima.
