posted on July 11, 2004 @ 9:06 am
last night i was watching the 20 most memorable emergency vet cases. when i told cole this later that night, before i even went into detail he said, "don't watch that stuff!" i don't know why i did, though. #20 was a guard dog who got shot in the face twice because he charged a cop (the burglar had just left, so i guess the dog thought the cops were others), but he lived ok. i still cried. it showed the bullet holes and everything. #19 did me in. a large dog had gotten hit by a car, which broke his back. i knew he was going to die, but for some reason i couldn't change the channel. it's actually been a while since i've cried; it felt good. they kept the dog alive long enough for his owner to say goodbye. when he showed up, the vet was talking about how he looked like a strong man: big build, mustache, shaved head. when they told him, however, he began to cry, and when they put his dog to sleep he sobbed. which made me cry harder. heh, and i'm tearing up now. #18 was a small terrior who'd been kicked in the face but never treated, so half of his jaw had to be removed. a woman adopted him and paid for surgery to form one of his ribs into a functioning jaw. that was really great, so i turned the channel after that. it's just odd because i've watched the emergency room shows on tlc before, and they never affected me.
i think the worst part is the fact you can't explain to the animals what's wrong. obviously they can grasp the concept that a speeding object slammed into them, and now they're going to die. it's more than that, though. when i had oobi [my hamster] put to sleep i explained to her that being as sick and old as she was, she'd feel better, and went on explaining death like you would to a little child. when i was driving around the middle of the night in the neighborhoods out in the hills and found a deer someone had hit and pulled to the sidewalk, i stopped the car and went to it. i explained to her that some humans are just lame, or that it could have been an accident. either way, we have a weapon on wheels we can't always control, and ultimately that is our fault. i picked a flower and lay it on her neck, trying hard to avoid looking at the insects crawling through her eye socket.
i suppose all this makes me sound crazy, but almost everything we've developed as humans we don't need. i'd just like to tell those animals, "you know, we've gotten a little carried away. i'm sorry you had to suffer because of it." in the event it's a car, or fireworks, or the insatiable need to own fancy shit like fur.
anyway. not soon after my little breakdown over injured dogs, i ventured to cole's and discovered he is so close now. it only took like 10 minutes to get to 360 & 2222. when i arrived the door was locked, so i beat loudly on the door. i scared his cats, and by the time i left puck still wouldn't come up to me.
we smoked from alex (his huge pipe a friend made for him) and watched "queer as folk." i must say, even stoned, that is the most ridiculous show i've ever seen. that is, if you can sit through the opening theme. one of the lesbian chicks wanted her girlfriend to use a vibrating dildo while she went down on her, and they made it out to be this huge deal like she's no longer a lesbian because just her girlfriend licking her wasn't enough. the hole is there to put things into it. biology tells you to. who you would like to do as much with whichever tool, that's what's up to you.
this morning i sprayed onto my work shirt perfume i found, and now i'm being all allergic. whenever i'm around strong smells like perfume and cologne, my body goes nuts. being awake for only 10 minutes really impares your judgement. last night when i walked into cole's i started sneezing because he'd cleaned and made it smelly. not in a bad way, of course, to the normal human.
i've been watching too much tlc. i got an idea to do to my tile floors, but i'll just wait until i actually pull some of it off and show you. if it's worth showing. i have materials to work on it today.
off to do auditing. i work a double shift today and am not looking forward to it.
"smoking these cigarettes more than i should. my hands won't stop shaking, and that can't be good. i would forget you if i only could think about anything else."
<3, chels
p.s. woman on tv: "it's growing on me."
man: "like a fungus?" :grin:
prev - next