posted on July 02, 2004 @ 4:37 pm
"american flag," "say," "he turns down," cat power
"summer," the barbarellas
apparently the fat calico in my apartments is eating the food i put out for noodle. this calico isn't fat like janeane is "fat," thick due to all his fur. the calico has short hair, and you can see her rolls. noodle makes an almost inaudible squeak when he sees me. he still won't let me go very near, but he knows when he sees me he's getting food and water. last night when i got home, he was curled up in front of my door waiting, and this great feeling surged through me for some reason. like this afternoon when i went home on my 2.5 hour break and tima was overly affectionate. i picked her up and held her like a baby, she putting her arms and head on my shoulder. she purred and nuzzled my chin as i walked to lock the door then back into the bedroom. just before i put her down she quickly licked my lip, then licked my forehead when i lay down.
yesterday afternoon i noticed a squirrel walking through the garage. not running or bounding along as squirrels do; literally walking. as i was on the phone with owen, the squirrel approached the window to my office then stood on its hind legs to get a better look at me. i went outside to take its picture, and he ran around my feet inspecting me, looking up and down my body. it was adorable.
at first he hid behind the poles and the trash can.
then he liked me.
that's my arm. see how it's all discolored? there where i scratched an itch. sometimes it just does that, and it takes a while for the color to return. i have funky skin. funky everything for that matter.
in the past couple days i've downloaded nearly 100 songs. what's nice is that i'm getting a copy of if you're feeling sinister by belle and sebastian from ben, which means i can download another album instead. i'm too happy about getting free music. today, amongst other things, we talked about our crappy dads. his dad's a doctor but wouldn't help him pay for college. this was mentioned when i asked if his parents supported him once he moved out, which they didn't. parents who do that need to remove their heads from their asses, and the children need to get a job and grow up. i don't know why the kids here get angry when they have to pay for parking or for a citation; it's not like any of them are actually using their own, earned money. leeches make me sick. two sorority cunts this morning said to tommy and me over the intercom, "thanks for acting like bitches." i fucking hate the people at this school. they're all braindead, including the faculty. except for ernest kaulbach. i'll defend him to the grave.
one boy argued nowhere in the rules he received did it mention his permit was only valid from 5:00 p.m. to 4:00 a.m. which of course it does, and tommy pointed it out. i just don't understand. days like these i want to go live in the middle of nowhere, where i don't have to deal with traffic laws and parking garages and drunk, immature college students and snobbish professors who think they're god because they have a phd. i want a farm full of animals to play with and love, a tv with cable, video games, a subscription to emusic.com, owen, and my family. everything else can just fall into the deepest circle of hell.
hmm. that came out of nowhere. anyway, enough hostility for one entry.
i paid my rent this afternoon and talked to the new manager. she's really nice, and even remembered me. she said the shelves are coming very soon; he just has to get time to put them in.
i'd like to know why guys like sports so much. ben said it's so they have something to talk about that isn't their feelings. i told him i lucked out, to wit, my real dad goes antiquing and owen seems more girl than me sometimes. you really should have heard him and jonathan going on about football and basketball, though. then jonathan spoke of how he'd aim to hit squirrels in his car in high school, and i told him he is the reason i hate humanity. as he continued to talk of horrendous activities, such as hunting, i colored in my coloring book, focusing on the hay beneath the white bunny as he and ben talked of shooting rabbits. i tuned it out and colored, colored until i switched the topic to just guns. which led to explosives, which left killing animals in the dust. i was proud of myself for realizing 1) i like jonathan enough to not be an ass and 2) telling him how much of a jerk he was isn't going to bring the animals he's killed back to life.
he asked, "you can't honestly believe squirrels have conscious thoughts. they're just some animal."
"by that logic i could go up to your mom and say, 'oh, you're just some random lady i don't know.' :pretends to fire a gun:"
"that's completely different."
"no, it's not."
aanyhoot. that's bringing up more hostility. i must admit it was a bit cute to hear him and ben singing "action and action" by the get up kids together. they wouldn't sing it loudly, just loudly enough so that you could make out what they were saying. and i nearly laughed my ass off everytime he'd put his knee in the chair and hit the "pokey part," as he put it. that's really what got me, hearing him repeatedly say "pokey part." i told him to put a piece of tape on it that says, "pokey part" so he wouldn't keep forgetting, but he said, "then it'd end up sticking to my ass, and people would ask, 'don't you mean that's where you like to be poked?"
i wonder if i'll be summoned to some garage function tonight. i'd really like to sleep. i've got to get smashed saturday and sunday at valerie's birthday celebration. on the 29th, she turned the big 2-0. happy birthday, bogey, if you happen to be reading this.
i had a really wonderful dream about owen this afternoon during my nap between shifts. i think my subconscious was apologizing for the bad ones.
"i once was lost but now i'm found, was blind but now i see you."
<3, chels
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