posted on June 11, 2004 @ 7:38 am
"playgirl," "seventeen," ladytron
"worked up so sexual," "agenda suicide," the faint
"saturday afternoon plans," i am robot and proud
well.
i'll be goddamned.
apparently to compensate for my tooth pains and lack of sleep, i was blessed with the company of another.
last night at work during a wave of excruciating pain, i called mom for the sake of having someone to whom to sob. on my way home aorund 10:00, she called me back to ask if i'd gotten home and tried putting ice on my jaw. while talking to her, another wave came on. i managed to keep in the tears for her sake, but just as i hung up i sat at a red light sobbing into my fists.
each time one of these waves hits me, i suddenly feel the dire need to vomit. i'm assuming taking all these antibiotics and pain killers on an empty stomach (when they specifically say "take with food") is part of the cause; also, i just get really nauseous when i'm in any sort of pain.
i haven't been eating much lately, so i went to subway. i'd never seen this guy, but i rarely go to the subway near my house. he had long dirty blonde hair�as long as mine used to be, inches from my ass�tied with several rubberbands at intervals to keep it back and out of the food. small blue eyes, a big humped nose, a blonde goatee. as he made my sandwich he looked at me curiously and sincerely asked, "how has your day been?" i went on about my teeth, and he wished me better. i talked about ben getting my job and talked about my job in general. i talked about moving, how i've almost gotten shot in this neighborhood and two years is just too long to live off east riverside. i mentioned getting free cable in my new apartment, which launched a cartoon conversation. since i was wearing my ren & stimpy shirt, we talked about that.
we stood there at the register for at least five minutes talking. at an awkward pause, i told him i wanted chips and a drink, also a chocolate chip cookie; earlier in the night i got the taste of one in my mouth for some reason. he said the cookie was on him and asked if i smoked, and he wasn't talking about cigarettes. i talked about how i can't smoke cigarettes anyway because i can't afford them (though i'll be buying some on my lunch break today).
he was happy to have me accompany him; he said it's never as fun when you're by yourself. after i filled my cup with root beer and picked out a bag of sun chips, i turned to see him leaning against the door watching me. he opened it for me as i drew nearer, and we sat on the curb between my car and a van, which turned out to be his.
he told me his name was derek, and when i told him my name he said that's his sister's name. i learned she lives with him and has a 15-month-old daughter that was taken away from her, but they're in the process of getting her back. i thought it best not to ask why she was taken away. apparently he used to deal or something to that extent because he mentioned getting out of "the business" in order to create a better environment for his niece. i told him about the guy who punched me and the sweet irony of him being beaten by a lady cop, to which he nodded and said, "you should never hit a girl." his 26th birthday is this sunday; he worried about getting old. i told him my plans of getting free drinks downtown when i turn 21, and he told me i could get away with it twice: both on my birthday and at midnite the night before (which would technically still be my birthday, you know).
i'm sure we talked about other stuff, but i got decently stoned pretty quickly. he said he'd give me his phone number if i wanted to hang out with him some time. i told him i wouldn't call him because i never call anyone; i wait for people to call me because i'm not an instigator. as he continued on in his quiet voice about getting a pen for my number so he could call me, it dawned on me how much certain aspects of him reminded me of the guy i was obsessed with during middle and high schools.
on a little piece of paper he wrote my name (spelled correctly on the first attempt) and my number (bars through the sevens) in really nice handwriting. he told me he enjoyed our time together and extended his arm. with my food-free arm i put my arm around his little waist, and he pressed me against him.
thinking about it, he reminds me a lot of dumbhead, only not as, i dunno, not as much of a dumbhead. through his niceness i still got a strange vibe, but strangers always make me uneasy. i suppose if he does call i can hang out with him, for lack of anything else to do and free pot.