posted on April 29, 2004 @ 4:24 pm
i have found my new home. i went to greystone park, received my deposit check back, and promptly tore it to shreads. the girl remembered my first and last names, however, so i felt a little guilty doing as much.
my new home will be in the abbey road apartments, 2601 penny lane. i think everyone knows i'm no beatles fan (though i'm strangely proud of my white album LP), but any apartment complex with a framed poster of the beatles in their office i approve of.
i showed up by accident, actually. i'd wanted to look at these apartments on mccann, but they just happen to be closed today. as i went down burnet, i saw penny lane and turned like a mad woman, probably much to the dismay of the car behind me. there's a little sign in front of the office that says�
brace yourself. are you ready?
"free cable."
i think i had eight orgasms when i saw this sign. once inside the woman mentioned this, "extended cable, you know, the 78 channels.
i paused a moment to let it sink in then quietly responded, "i've lived without cable for two years."
"it sure is tough, isn't it?"
"when i go home i just sit in front of the tv, and i don't think my family appreciates it."
the place is completely ginormous, though.
the bedroom is actually the same size as the living room. i walked in and exclaimed, "good lord, this is huge! i'll have to buy a big bed now. i've just got a twin to save space." and to be squished up with cute boys from pennsylvania. there is a large built-in bookcase in the living room and a built-in desk in the bedroom. it's wonderful, it's beautiful, it's huge, i won't have to deal with a patio (i don't like the idea of being on the first floor with one for some reason), and it has a bar so i can get rid of my rickety dining table and chairs. ooh, and if i sign a 13-month lease, i don't have to pay any rent at all for july.
nestled right in the crotch of 183 and mopac. i like the zip code 78757.
this is when i went to retrieve my other deposit check. i lied and said i was going to live with my roommate after all; i felt bad telling her she managed a rat-infested, flooding sh*thole.
i've decided when i'm in a bad mood, i'm donning my ren & stimpy shirt and heading out. everyone and their grandmother has to compliment me on it, and i must say it makes me feel marginally cool. i went to mozart's to apply (and incidentally was sucked into buying a mocha granita, a.k.a. a $3.95 icee), and the boy working started in about my shirt the moment i walked in. i would really like to work there; i'll have to give them a call back monday and pester them about it.
for whatever reason, this afternoon as i lay down to take a little 1.5 hour nap (i've abandoned full-fledged sleep now), i had the urge to rip open someone's shirt. you know how in movies the chick will take a beefy hold on the guy's dress shirt and yank up-/downward, sending buttons soaring into the air? that's always seemed like fun to me. i have a few shirts that snap up (got them from papaw), and i like ripping them open. once i called jennifer's name to get her attention, and as she turned to look at me i ripped open my shirt, threw my head back and chest out. she just sort of half-frowned, giving me that look i've received too many times [chelsea? what the hell.] and returned to whatever it was i'd distracted her from. i think she was reading a bill. yes, kids, reading bills is more fun than watching me rip my shirt open.
i've also abandoned eating on days i don't work. sadly, i've already tired of oriental ramen and pancakes. i don't know how anyone could not love to eat these; this poverty's hitting me hard.
electric bill was due today. didn't pay it. oops ;)
"and you're such a charming, handsome man. now I think I finally understand. is it in your genes? i don't know, but i'll soon find out, that's for sure."
<3, chels.
p.s. read this email from dana. it's classic. i work with the craziest [in a good way, of course] people.
subject: answer the call . . . all ye worthy . . . Ok motherfuckers, Drinks, bud and a hell of a good time! Sound like heaven?? I'm sure you're all dying to know how to achieve this nirvana. So, I'll lead you to the path of enlightenment... PARTY! This Saturday at Val and Dana's place! Through the grapevine Val was presented with the proposition of throwing a spontaneous party this Saturday at our place. After deliberation upon the situation, it was quickly decided that we had to follow the path that was set out for us...THE PATH OF RIGHTEOUSNESS...WE WILL LEAD YOU THROUGH THE FOREST AND UNTO OUR GREAT SAVIOR! ...so the point is that each and every one of you better show up Saturday night!! Y'all all know where to find us...just follow the smell of the dank (j/k). Or, if you're a little rusty you can also call us. Love,
Val and Dana
p.p.s. my pussy, as mrs. slocombe would say. ;) 
(for those of you who have better things to do on a saturday night than watch british comedies on pbs, she's a character in "are you being served?")
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