posted on January 07, 2004 @ 6:24 pm
"fascination street," cure
"here comes your man," pixies
"punk out," suicide machines
"spin spin sugar," sneaker pimps
"voice in my head '96," buck-o-nine
"suburban homesick blues," mustard plug
the past four nights, i couldn't sleep. my toothaches grew worse when i left work saturday afternoon, and the better part of the weekend was spent in bed sobbing, tossing and turning. my fitted he-man sheet was wrenched from my matress due to my kicking legs, and my hair and pillow grew drenched in tears, sweat, and saliva as i lay hyperventilating, gasping for oxygen and some kind�any kind�of relief. the main offenders were teeth 18 (lower left) and 14 (upper left). the pain would alternately swell and ebb at regular intervals. 18 has received a root canal and crown, so mom suggested putting ice and heat on the jaw joint; she and doug both have had jaw swelling causing toothaches. miraculously, this did in fact work for a few hours. i had to call in to work on sunday night.
early monday the pain in 18 had receeded, 14 was napping, so chelsea slept for the first time in two days. for nearly eight hours at that. 14 awoke ocassionally, but the pain was bearable. a dentist appointment with steven van wicklen (voted "best guy to drool on while your mouth goes slack" by the chronicle in '96) was made. by tuesday, 14 was back in full swing, compensating for the absent pain in 18. eating was painful and therefore avoided. sleep didn't come until 8:00 a.m. wednesday morning.
i went to the dentist at 1:50, wherein i was told i needed a[nother] root canal on 14. this will be $730, without the approximate $600 for the crown. thusly, it appears tooth 14 will be extracted and laid to rest in the coming month. poor tooth 14. we've already paid to have preventative work done to it, but a massive cavity has made home beneath the filling.
tooth 14 in my mouth is the next-to-last molar. as i inspected a little map of numbered teeth, i relize the last tooth up there should be 16, not 15 like in my mouth. suddenly i put together my lacking in teeth and one trip to the dentist in elementary school. he pulled a tooth that came out in three pieces and put it in a tiny plastic yellow treasure chest. i kept the chest sitting on a shelf in my room, yet it disappeared. i opened it regularly to inspect the pieces, reassemble them as if they were a puzzle. my guess is mom was grossed out by having bloody tooth bits in her house and threw them out.
mom only has 12 teeth in her top row. before nana got her dentures, she had eight [rotting] teeth on each top and bottom. i'm on my way to fulfilling my destiny as the family's next toothless wonder. we may as well be british.
on the questionairre i answered at the dentist's, i checked no when asked if i felt i'd lose all my teeth one day. that was just to make me feel better.
i was also informed that they can no longer prescribe "downers" without having me hooked up to ridiculous monitoring devices. i need valium to go to the dentist, so here's hoping i can magically find the five i have lying around somewhere.
i dyed my hair black and cut myself bangs. i really feel as if all the sweating was the flight of a fever, because i never would have cut my hair without one. i haven't worn them out in public, however, and seriously doubt i will. with them parted, it's not a big deal at all.
jennifer's not talking to me. she hasn't since i yelled when marjan spilled beer on what i'd gotten for owen. yeah, sorry i got pissed off because she fucked up something i wouldn't be able to find another of. it's a good thing i don't have any other friends; my anger would be unrightfully displaced upon them. i asked jennifer the night before last, "when does my silent treatment end?"
":humming tones that mean 'i don't know': whenever."
"are you going to prank call me soon?"
"no, i don't think so. i don't do that."
"you did to sean."
"oh, yeah. i'm thinking of doing that again."
"how super mature."
last night she entered with sylvia, both made a bee line for her room, returned to the kitchen whispering to each other, then left. as the door was closing, jennifer said dismissally, "see you later," to which i responded a hearty fuck you. i hate saying that to my friends. i left a note on her bed relaying layla's request to dye her hair, my new phone number, and a plea to talk to me about what is wrong.
i added, "at least i have no sharp objects at my immediate disposal," and i wasn't being sarcastic.
this morning i hugged a pillow while falling asleep. i pretended it wasn't a pillow, which was strangely comforting.
the past five days have been miserable.
"there's a land that i heard of once in a lullaby..."
<3, chels.
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