posted on December 20, 2003 @ 10:43 pm
driving home last night was rather boring and filled with lots of thought. i couldn't smoke or sing, which is what consumes those four and a half hours. i listened to a dashboard album since i haven't listened to him in forever.
when "best deceptions" came on, i remembered how it made me teary-eyed at the show even though it wasn't applicable to myself. this was when all that shit with layla and stefan was happening, though, and all of stefan's sadness filtered into me.
i'll never forget one morning when i came home from jennifer's, and he and layla were in bed. she went to the bathroom, and as i checked my email he sat up, wearing his glasses but not a shirt, long curly hair a mess, and asked if i thought he was stupid for trying to stay with her. i told him i personally wouldn't be able to trust anyone after that, vague comments like that as i was still torn between sticking up for my friend or telling him the right thing to do. his lower lip trembled, and his eyes filled with tears. they broke free as he tried to rationalize everything by saying he loved her. my own eyes filled with tears, and all i could say was, "i'm sorry, honey." then layla came back, and he wiped it all away.
i really hate the general population at times. this happens continually, and i don't understand. i don't understand anyone.
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