posted on April 11, 2003 @ 9:10 pm
"something i can never have," nin
dear trent,
hi, it's chelsea. we haven't spoken in a while, eh? i'm very sorry i lost your engagement ring; it wasn't my fault. we can destroy jonathan together, no?
i was writing to see how you were doing and see if you've thought anymore of setting the date for the wedding. i understand you're a very busy, distraught person. i am, too, love. just drop me a line when you can and give me an update.
yours eternally,
chelsea.
p.s.�Xwhen i first heard this song, i think something inside of me withered. literally. there's been a lot of blood shed whilst listening to this, curled into my beanbag in the dark in front of my stereo. over 30 candles around my entire room the only light. that enchanting aroma of incense from ellis pottery, since discontinued, only burned on very special occasions now. i've only burned it once in my current room. i stole half of it, you know. i never used the stolen ones when i did my magic because i didn't want to bring that karma into my wishes.
anyway trent, allow me to remind you of one of your very best songs. it's always great to hear a song where every line is me. just like all your songs. times like now it can be unsettling, but nonetheless it's comforting in an odd way. i love you, and i hope you're getting by.
i still recall the taste of your tears, echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears. my favorite dreams of you still wash ashore, scraping through my head til i don't want to sleep anymore. you always were the one to show me how. back then i couldn't do the things that i can do now. this thing is slowly taking me apart. grey would be the color if i had a heart. in this place it seems like such a shame. though it all looks different now, i know it's still the same. everywhere i look you're all i see, just a fading fucking reminder of who i used to be. come on, tell me. you make this all go away. i'm down to just one thing, and i'm starting to scare myself. i just want something i can never have.
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