posted on April 03, 2003 @ 11:00 am
[i wrote this while waiting for blockley to arrive in class, thus the time]
my recent bought of general unhappiness has made me keenly aware of an absence in my life. i can't write. no longer can those terrors that consistently torment and violate my weak thoughts, both in in my conscious and unconscious worlds, get. out. of. my. head. honestly, i try, i even sit myself down and descend into a dramatic stupor. i'm not particularly sure how im coping with this, but neither have i cut myself nor even cried.
yep.
that was around 11. now it's 12:15, and i'm waiting for the stairwell to clear so i can take a flyer. "a collection of small disappointments." from what i've gathered by merely glancing in its general direction (i can't give away my nefarious plans), it's a play. there's a something going on monday about manuscripts. i can't fully recall, but i want to go. any takers? it'll be grammary fun! ;)
ok, so now it's 4:27, and i'm at work. the writing thing only bothers me because it's just what i do when i get like this. i've found pages and pages of random crap, half of them in french, talking about hating everyone, myself, and some really interesting concepts. from last year to high school. my poor paper diary has been neglected. the fact i could actually sit down this morning and write something is a start, however. at least i still know how to form the words.
oh my god, i just realized something. the last thing i wrote about in there was about marc, and i never finished because i didn't feel like thinking about it. sunday morning, when i sat down and scrawled out nine pages on a subject i hadn't thought about in days . . . i just realized that it was a somewhat continuation. i suppose i did need closure afterall.
that play is going to be the 12th (saturday! no work!) at 8:00 p.m. unfortunately, one of you shall be attending with me. it's done by the broccoli project, and they did "god," which rocked. i stole that flyer, too. i also took one, "nine" i think was the title. i'm collecting broccoli project flyers. i didn't see "nine," though. poo. it's only $5. come one, come all, just be sure it's with me.
that manuscript thing, bugger, i forget again. it's about the difficulties of [insert meat of gathering that i can't remember] ben jonson's manuscripts. it's next monday, the 7th, at 4:00 p.m. in the tom lea room of hrc. puh-lease? i'd imagine jennifer could go.
i'm going to go look at classes i could take next semester if i don't get kicked out. meh.
"my eyes feel like they're gonna bleed."
<3, chels.
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