posted on March 03, 2003 @ 2:35 am
"world inside the world,"
"point shirley,"
"four-eyed girl,"
"hover,"
"the el,"
"your nervous heart,"
"i want to live," rhett miller
my internet connection keeps disconnecting every 10 or 15 minutes. rawr! i hate you msn. oh wait, it's free. nevermind. i <3 you, free-ness.
the past couple days were actually rather pleasant. i went to bed at three a.m. (which is early for me) friday (technically saturday i suppose) and woke up around 6:00 p.m. jennifer had planned a "nerdy 5th grade slumber party" for last night and even had a good number of people coming. in the end, however, only layla was left being able to come. she established the rules of "no boys, no alcohol," but when she found out no one was coming she was like, "let's get blot-to!" hehe. frank called and informed me we had to do something because sitting at home doing homework and studying for tests is not the thing to do on saturday nights, so i told him to come over. stefan has tons of nintendo roms for dreamcast, so i told layla he could come if he brought them. she told him, and he got all excited. hehe. he brought his xbox, too, because :gasp: he has halo. i didn't even know he had an xbox; the last time i was there (which was, granted, in september) he only had a ps2.
ok, so we actually have three guests? amazing. jennifer, frank and i had been watching office space, but of course as soon as stefan showed up with his nintendo roms that turned off. ;) he says he copied them wrong, though, so i didn't get to play. boo. :( i couldn't even find my nintendo roms for the computer. :whimper: he hooked up his xbox, and we played it a little, got pizza, blah blah. i made strawberry daquiris cause that's what i do, but only we girls drank. stefan brought a porn, good will humping. haha. it was very ghetto, and it didn't even have anything to do with good will hunting! i asked jennifer earlier tonight, "do other people watch porn with their friends?"
"well, i've watched it with john before."
"no, other than us?"
"i'll have to start asking!"
we went through some of the taboo cards (layla's obsessed with that game), and after she fell asleep i got trivial persuit out. i just went through the questions and learned that a capon is a castrated rooster. one asked, "what building has 208 elevators and 43,600 windows?" frank and jennifer guessed wrong, so i told them the answer was the world trade center. jennifer and i burst into laughter, and i said, "well, not anymore." i do believe if there's not a hell as of now, one is being created for the two of us.
around 3:00 a.m., layla and stefan got into jennifer's bed, jennifer fell asleep on the floor, frank fell asleep next to me on the futon, and i played halo! wee! i played for about four hours. it was really depressing because i had to put it on easy. i used to be able to play legendary (third of four difficulty levels) and do descently. i got to the part right after the flood is introduced, you know, when you're in the foggy marshy part? i've already gone through the building, and i quit after coming out because that level irks me. there's no distinct path of direction, you know? that level where i could clear it without opening fire? i got through about half of it. i did okay considering it's been six months since i've played it, but then again it was on easy. god i must get an xbox.
layla got up at 7:00, when i was quitting, to cover my shift at work. stefan stumbled in, and the three of us woke up jennifer and frank. i put in slc punk! since frank hadn't seen it. at 10:30 i took jennifer to work, then frank and i went to walmart. dude, there was this crazy bitch who kept cutting me off. like, if i hadn't braked when i saw her coming over she would have hit me so badly. i'm so angry. jennifer wrote down her license and car model and stuff. i know she won't be in the ut system, but i'm going to look anyway. oh i got so pissed off. frank and i accidentally flipped off a guy behind us we thought was her, but when she passed me to cut me off again we did. argh. i hate people.
when he left at 1:00 p.m., i went to sleep, not to arise until 9:30. hehe. i did my grammar homework, and now i'm about to do anthropology and go up to the school's computer lab (the SMF in the UGL, also known as the FAC :giggle: i love how everything has like three names). i have to retake part of my anthropology test, and the software i have to have takes half an hour to download. i'm going to try to get it, but i don't know if i'll stay connected long enough. that portion of the test i made an 80 on, and he said we have to get a 90. bah.
i really should do homework more; it takes my mind off of the general shittiness i've been experiencing as of late. i'm trying to find a middle ground for me to dwell in, like, how i was all manic the past couple months? i liked that for once because i'm so tired of feeling like this. i've spent my entire life hating everyone and plotting their demise. i just looked but couldn't find poetry i had written when i was in elementary school. dreary words that made me sad now, when sad things aren't always sad because they're so petty. 10-year-olds shouldn't write things like that, and i don't want to feel things like that as a 19-year-old. i want to find some sort of space where i can be content to an extent, yet still be that sardonic semi-pessimist everyone knows (and probably is annoyed with) so well. i don't know. blah. i'll try to find that poetry of mine so you won't think i'm some kind of drama queen who cuts herself because it's the trendy thing to do. i hope none of you believe that anyway, but because no one understands i want everyone to know it's deep-seeded.
"there is no god. it was a dream. that's all it was. you gotta wake me up now."
<3, chelsea.
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