posted on February 24, 2003 @ 5:23 am
"teenage suicide," "close your eyes," "harmonic," "sorry," unwritten law
i really want to see unwritten law. i think more people know them now, though, but hopefully their ticket prices wouldn't be all jacked up.
time's rolling forward. i'm getting bored laying on my back. i'm losing track. shifting patterns, and nothing matters cause there's no one here and i've lost my fear. well i've got no place left to hide, and i'm running out of time. moving slowly, the walls are closing in on me. i cannot see. feeling fine, well, that's all a lie cause i am not alright. extinct inside. and i'm running out of time. my mother says i'm fine. a teenage suicide. cause i've got no place left to hide. i'm running out of time. i've got not place left to hide. a teenage suicide.
that song came on the pink cd they were giving out for free at warped tour 2000, and the day i heard it (in addition to crying of course) i went out and bought their album. this is a very rocking album that will kick any other album's ass. "rawr!" that's the album growling. unfortunately, i let ryan borrow it right before i moved to austin. i'm downloading it now, however, so i'm a mere three songs from having it. "harmonic" gives me a very creepy longview vibe. the words are very good, and since it's number one i heard it a lot.
well i'll see you around, don't want to stay and drown. the drama got too thick. makes me sick. and i don't wanna talk about it. i already thought about it. stripped down of my pride, i shed the tears that dried these eyes. well it was fun at the start, but maybe we're worlds apart facing different ways, different plains. and i don't wanna drag it out, and i just got to get on out and leave it all behind. it's time so don't deny it. well i wanna know, does it show on my face i'm sick of this place? i wanna move on cause the feeling is gone. i wanna see, is it me out the door? i told you before i wanna have fun, and it's just begun. i've seen the light, tried to talk about it. if you were ever down for me just stop, and you'd see. you know i'm right, and it showed in your eyes. what we had shared had run empty so let it be.
oi. good shit. their sticker was one of the first to go onto my new car, the buick you know. i think nin was first. i had to get one almost just like the one on my le mans. for some reason lately i've been extremely violent at the thought of jonathan. i don't even remember what started it the other day, but i just got really mad. like, i've never wanted to actually physically hurt someone, but just envisioning myself punching him in the face over..and over..and over, and feeling that, it made me feel good. not good, obviously, but...i don't know. when ed norton beat the shit out of jared leto in fight club? it would feel good like it felt good to ed there. "broken hearts want broken necks." i guess that's why it's different with him; he fucked me over on a different level. i am jack's raging bile duct. it's people like him (plus several other types,obviously) that really make me despise humans and question how anyone could live with themselves for treating someone like that. usually i just hate someone and, literally, forget about them, but this hatred's taking longer to fizzle out. blah.
i blow dried my hair for the first time in nearly a year the other night. i did it again tonight, too, for whatever reason. i went and saw atom and his package with frank, and it was very wonderfully wonderful. atom's fucking hilarious. it was incredibly enjoyable. i had my hair up, but since it was cold even inside (not as much people-packing as usual) i took it down. frank commented on how long it was, but i try to tell people it is. no one seems to believe the amount of hair i have put up in that little clip. i have enough hair for like three people. it's quite terrible; i really need to get it cut. i still have it down, though. that aussie shampoo and conditioner i got, "mango smoothy for course, unruly hair" and "slip detangler for tangly hair," respectively, actually worked. oh yeah, and the leave-in aussie stuff i've been using for about a year and a half, "hair insurance for weak, distressed hair" and a little "frizz control" gel before i dry it on the top. yes, all this shit for only not so badly frizzed hair. i guess the combination of all the aussie stuff helped; it's like one-billionth what it used to be. well, i don't know, that's when i'd let it dry on its own, and i've got "course, unruly" curly hair naturally. i should crimp it!
anyway, what the hell is all this talk about my hair? the band that played right before atom, mae, was oh so good. if they'd had a record out yet i would have actually bought it. i don't know that many atom songs, but he did play "pumping for enya," "punk rock academy," "possession," and "hats off to halford." ha, oh man, he sang the metric system song, and it was hilarious. we're all avid and screaming and throwing our fists...over how the english system sucks and we want metric. all of his songs make me laugh so much, but seeing all of us yelling for metric...that was the best thing i've experienced in a long time. (: