posted on February 07, 2003 @ 1:42 am
ok, there were a couple people at work tonight who weirded me out. first was a woman who had to pay two dollars because her validation stamp didn't cover that much of it. she jokingly asked if she could just leave for free, but i just smiled as i got her change. "aww, look at how sweet that smile is!" and starts going off to this other guy about how i look like some french chick chloe she knows. "you just need a french accent." i told her i could kind of speak french.
then this other guy, after he paid, said thanks and winked at the same time. winking really creeps me out, except for one time when a cute guy did it while he was waiting a few people back in my line.
i talked to a chick about my benefits, but apparently that $300 added to my check was to balance the $300 taken out; it wasn't the holiday pay brian said i was going to get. whatever. her call made me late for work, however, and i didn't have food. boo. frank brought me mcdonald's, though, and all was right with the world. not really cause i got absolutely nothing done at work tonight in way of homework. fuck all. my headache has calmed down, and i think i've located the source: my wisdom tooth. it's about three-fourths its way in, and the rest is apparently starting to eek its way out. it started hurting today and has escalated considerably, as has the pain in the lump in my jaw. i should go to a dentist.
i love making people laugh, especially when i don't try to. last night at work as i was leaving, tim said i should call in tonight. i told him hopefully i wouldn't feel this bad today. he was like, "yeah, hopefully."
"but knowing my body, i'll feel like this :dramatic pause: for the rest of my life."
":laughs: how optimistic. god, i'm depressed now."
then at work tonight a customer who was in his 30s asked if i knew a good bar near to go to. i told him other than the obvious sixth street i had no idea, "because in addition to being under 21, i'm also anti-social." he laughed really hard at that. it just made me feel good.
i tried to get a spider out of the can that collects tickets inside the exit machine, but my finger slipped and i think my fingernail broke one of his legs. i felt so terrible. i just fuck so much shit up. that rock was probably terrestrial. goddamn. i'm going to bed. yes, bed!
"long nights, hard times, all the things that make you feel tired."
<3, chels.
this is my favorite conor song. even "a song to pass the time" comes in second to this. when i first heard it i cried (as i did with a lot of his songs..heh), remembering that day four years ago when my mom yelled at me, "how am i supposed to explain to sarah that her sister is gone and is never coming back?"
It was in the march of the winter I turned 17
so please forgive what I have done
but spring came bearing sunlight
I wrote this for a baby
that I bought those things
I thought I would need
and I wrote a letter to my family
said it's not your fault
and you've been good to me
just lately I've been feeling
like I don't belong
like the ground's not mine to walk upon
and I've heard that music
echo through the house
where my grandmother drank
by herself
and I sat watching a flower
as it was withering
I was embarrased by it's honesty
so I'd prefer to be remembered as a smiling face
not this fucking wreck
that's taken it's place
no you can't stay mad at the setting sun
we all get tired I mean eventually
there's nothing left to do but sleep
those persuasive rays
so I gave myself a few more days
my salvation it came, quite suddenly
when Justin spoke very plainly
he said "Of course it's your decision,
but just so you know,
if you decide to leave,
soon I will follow"
who has yet to be born
my brother's first child
I hope that womb's not too warm
cause it's cold out here
and it'll be quite a shock
to breathe this air
to discover loss
so I'd like to make some changes
before you arive
so when your new eyes meet mine
they won't see no lies
just love.
just love.
i will be pure, like snow, like gold.
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