posted on December 04, 2002 @ 8:38 pm
"said sadly," james iha and nina gordon
"you're all i've got tonight," "clones," "a night like this," "destination unknown," "dreaming," smashing pumpkins
heh, in other words, i'm listening to the "bullet with butterfly wings" single, just not the title track. ;)
i just meant to type "diaryland.com," but instead put "dictionary.com." :hangs her head in shame:
last night i was blasting depeche mode whilst showering, and even though the stereo was on the floor in front of my vanity, where dearest oobi rests, she slept soundly through it. hehe, she sleeps like me. i left around 10:30 p.m. to drive around, but it started raining. i almost returned home, but i'm glad i didn't since further south it wasn't raining. i went down east 290, but it was very lame, the length of it i travelled. the airport looks cute and xmas-y, however. there was this horrendous pain in my left shoulderblade, so it was sort of hard to look at it...or anything else not directly in front of me. ;)
last night layla came over when she got off work, and we smoked the very last of my little joint. i'd kept it for so so long, saving it for when something was terribly wrong, but she felt really bad. i didn't get to sleep until 6:30 a.m. because someone called at 2:30 a.m. ok, well, it was cat, and i told him about that time when i took care of this chick's baby because they were too drugged to do it. granted i was high and had done some coke, but nonetheless, i changed his diaper, got him apple juice, and stayed with him until he started falling back to sleep. he remarked on my motherly instinct, and now that i'm thinking about it, i have a rather strong one. i'm sure not many people would readily agree since i don't overtly display it to all, but it's there. i was reading my journal from june 2001 (seattle/canada vacation) and found this:
as we left the elephant viewing (there was a baby! yay!), i saw a slug on the trail. i was going to pick it up so no one would step on it, and while i was looking at it and stuff a bunch of little kids came up. they started asking me all these questions, and then we started looking through the dirt for more animals. we found a dead slug and the biggest, most beautiful snail i've ever seen. [...] earlier i had to read to my lil sister for her to go to sleep. it was so cool.
i guess it's because i contributed to the rearing of sarah so heavily. most likely it's because all the chicks in my family i know of (granted that's not a lot, but nonetheless this generalization includes them all) are gentle. i mean, obviously as with my mother and myself we could totally kick your ass if we felt it necessary, but when it comes down to it we'll do anything in our power for anyone worthy. and lots of people are worthy. as much as i talk about hating everyone, i would sacrifice for even people of whom i don't particularly think fondly. we try to please too many people and end up forgetting about ourselves. i don't know how many times i've had that conversation with mom:
me: "but i don't want to make them mad."
she: "would you do something for you once?"
me: "no."
she: ":scoffs: you're going to turn out like me."
speaking of hating people, a guy came to the garage earlier saying his access card wouldn't work. it's three and a half years old and transparent in places; it's going to need to be replaced. ok, that's going to be $10. bitching ensues because he's already paid hundreds of dollars for a permit. more thorough explanation of the simple fact he has to pay for a new one or no longer have access to this garage.
"i know it doesn't cost $10 to make these things!"
"of course not. UT has to rip you off somehow."
"i think it's a crock i have to pay $10 for a new card."
"i think it's a crock i have to pay $2500 for tuition."
"well i'm not administration. you can't complain to me about that."
"you think i'm administration, that i have any say in what happens in this establishment?"
"no, but you work here, so you have to listen."
"i haven't been listening for a long time because i've already explained your options."
it was just so very frustrating. i gave him the name of a couple of supervisors, the number to this particular garage, and sold him a new card. seriously, does he think they're immortal? he genuinely thinks he's going to be reimbursed.
the other day jonathan was on for over an hour and didn't talk to me. :waves her finger: i removed him. hmph. i was just thinking about him last night and got so angry. not overly angry since i was kind of stoned, but angry enough.
oh yes, and one more thing. last night jennifer mentioned something about her and a certain someone having sex on our dining table, how it would be ecstasy. i responded with, ":scoff: yeah, from latin extasis, terror." and we both laughed. a lot. yeesh, the geek-dom.
"i sit by and watch the river flow. i sit by and watch the traffic go. imagine something of your very own, something you can have and hold. i'd build a road in gold just to have some dreaming."
<3, chelsea.
p.s.�Xif you haven't seen final fantasy, please watch it. and believe in it. hell, i'd settle for pocahontas. only terrible, horrible people don't think the earth is alive. ;)
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