posted on June 07, 2002 @ 6:45 pm
i guess i'll update some. i didn't realize it had been so long. the past several days have been the same, though, so it's no big deal updating. my parents left on saturday as you know, and i've been loving having no one here. i average 3:00 a.m. coming home (i could, anyway, but this way i get to make as much noise as i want when i get home). maggie goes crazy when i get home, since i've been gone all day. she sleeps whenever i do, which is really rad. when she needs to go out in the morning/afternoon, she licks my face to wake me up. that's cute. anyway, the past several days have just been either me and jonathan or me, jonathan and derek running around doing the same as always: going to the mall, target, books, best buy, wal-mart and blockbuster. yeah, sucks i know, but it's not too bad having company at least. the other day jonathan, derek and i played hunter: the reckoning on jon's xbox for at least five hours. i love that game so much. it's crazy hard, but it's got a cool plot and pretty good graphics, lots of blood and awesome weapons. jonathan and derek always take the weapons, so, being the baby i am, i threatened not to heal them anymore (that's my chick's special move, she heals herself and anyone one close to her). i'm such a baby when it comes to getting my way, noticed that? bah.
last night i broke down and cried a lot to jonathan. i started for no apparent reason, but then he asked me what he does that makes me mad. nothing makes me mad, it's just that lately i've been extra sensitive. there's something about this place that makes me uneasy. i don't know if it's because i can't go anywhere without a bad memory surfacing, or that there are so fewer "me"s around, whereas austin is nothing but "me"s. so having to talk about all that made me cry (while driving no less, sheesh). then, when we got to my house, i kept crying. i had to shut it off really quickly to talk to chris, calling from his home in seattle. he and his wife had a baby, marley olin. then when i hung up i started again. i told jonathan i was sorry for being difficult. he went off about how if i were difficult, it'd be hard to find things to love about me, but it's so easy. etc. i finally stopped crying, and we went and watched this movie session 9 in my parents' room (that's where the dvd player is).
we left here at 11:45 to go back to his house because he didn't tell his mom when he was going to be back, and he didn't want her to worry. we finished session 9 and started me, myself and irene, but halfway through it he turned it off and we went to his room and :scratches her head:
:cough, ahem: so anyway i got home at 4:00 a.m., and he left with derek around 9:00 a.m. for south padre island. derek has a bowling tournament this weekend (yeah, my friends are nerds, but at least they're all cute ones ;P), so they won't be back til late sunday. oh woe is i. today's my nana's birthday; she's 67. i think tomorrow i'm going to pack maggie and her accessories into my car and head over to shreveport to spend the night with them; i don't want to sit here alone. i may not, however; i have lots of books to read. we'll see. jonathan let me pick oodles of star wars toys from his collection, most of which, he noted, were bad guys. he also bought me a new C-3PO and R2D2 (they're my favorites).
oh yeah, one more thing, i went to journey's in the mall to buy purple converse, and i met the coolest guy yet in longview. i bought the fat clown biker from akira, and he saw it and started talking about his toy collection. he told me about ghost in the shell, so i rented it. it's pretty good, lots of boobies. jon and i rented biohunter. i liked its gore and, again, boobies. :giggle: the next day the guy wasn't working, though, so i didn't get to tell him i watched ghost in the shell. :pouts: i think i'm about to go read catcher in the rye. i'm so glad maggie's here; i'd be so lonely. be sure to read my previous entry; if you don't watch sealab 2021, you may not be able to appreciate it, but it made me wanna just smother jonathan with affection.
"wanna know a secret?"
"yeah."
":whispers in my ear: i love you too. and i did say drunken cat." lol, i love putting only pieces of conversations; they're so funny.
<3, chels.
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