i don't <3 me
posted on 2002-03-26 @ 3:24 a.m.
i'm such a bitch, and i hate it. jonathan might come back with me after this weekend, if he can. i hope he actually wants to. but then i started talking about how i hate everything and want to quit school and just get a normal job and be normal and middle class. i went outside to smoke with the away message, "i'll be right back, i'm smoking. hopefully i'll get cancer soon." when i came back he had, "outside thinking i'll be back later," up. i IMed him with just, "jon boy." he came back from being idle, still away, and i apologized. then he was idle again. right before i left (i'm going to get food) i wrote, "i love you, i'm sorry i'm crazy and stuff, but i promise i'm taking my drugs," and put up another away message. he came back from idle, then from away, and then signed off. without saying anything. i hate that i stress people out. i hate being so melodramatic. god i fucking hate myself.